Tuesday, November 27, 2007

anyway. today was interesting. i m like gearing myself up december transfer window soon. haha. den equally annoyed feelings towards certain people. utter bemusement towards the behaviour of another. dilemma over another situation. kinda sums up my day.

i decided not to go to council bbq. spent enough money today for one and didnt wish to travel halfway across the island to have dinner with a group of people of which 3/4 of them i dont particularly warm up with. yups. not that i dont like them. its just the frequency and mismatch conversation wise.

anyways. i seriously need to get a good job next time. i m a huge fan of professionalism and quality. for me, i scoff at things that are done shabbily or imperfectly. i cant stand it when my mom takes me to her neighbourhood salon and gets some lady to do my hair. i cant stand paying cheap money for something not so good. i mean like everything has its cost constraints. but for me, as long as ur not talking about the 50s or the 100s difference range, and if theres a far cry in quality, i ll take the more expensive one. cus for me the i rather bear the so called opportunity cost in terms of cash than lose out in image, in appearance and even in health and convenience. call me shallow or vain, but i guess its a part of me. i mean of course theres always that value for money bargain, i definitely take that, but how often do u get such quality at low cost right. afterall we live in a mercenary world. it pays to be a winner. winners hope to be paid. losers wished they were paid. even some are paid to be losers. the middle class have to pay too. and people like us, the young and the hopelss get conned by culture and get conned by words. den those that we can truly trust are plagued by this disease called the generation gap. so wad can we do right...

and then there is another group. walao. seriously. WALAO. or. if i said it politely OH HEAVENLY FATHER! i dunno if the theres this displayed label on any part of me. but i definitely do not see myself as a frickin production line. its like they call me, tell me they want a design, give me a damn 5 day deadline. and wow, u think coming up with a design is as easy as scooping up an ice cream from a tub!! OH HEAVENLY FATHER! and i dont mean it in a commandment breaking thing. i mean it in the more like. HELP ME! sort of thing. yar. its absurd and ridiculous. and it must be so helpful that my comp got a trojan that only got fixed last night and was so irritating that a quarter of the stuff u click on directs u to a porn web if not classifies sites like soccernet and google under application failed. holy cow.

gearing myself up for purchases. i need to beef up abit. and i saw this nice black three quarters at freshbox today and this black jeans at topman! 166 in total. so i guess i m gonna need a job. heh. i shall start looking up classified tmr. i cant believe i m doing this. but as much as i resent my parents for forcing me onto the low quality, i feel guilty for lying about high quality being low quality. i feel guilty for spending their money after lying to them. and i think my own money is a way of tearing off the shackles of having my purchases based on a dictatorship. yups. so hence, the need to find a job.

the dilemma, hobby or production line. relaxation or responsibility. my sacrifice or their stupid deadline. hmm...

and its always pretty annoying to go thru a reallly beautiful sunny day, only to be drenched by a frickin thunderstorm at the end of it. u ll never know how such thunderstorms suddenly come about. but shit happens. then i start asking myself stupid things like, did i pee too much such that this thunderstorm has to be my fault?!

and to round off this already long post which is m sure the whole world would be fixing their eyes on cus of the immense popularity of my blog. NOT! heres some thought. other day i was sitting in the admin room, den the guys were trying to solve 3 sided and 4 sided rubix cubes. so today i was thinking on the way up in the lift after being drenched. i thought, we kinda realise those tests like DISC or wadever tell us dominant traits. ah ha! dominant! dominant humans doesnt mean there arent another other animals! i just saw 2 monkeys at the bus stop the other day and thats solid proof for all those who have been living in caves for the last dunno how many years of their lives. anyways. i realised theres alot of irony and loopholes in the stuff that we do and say. label us as hypocrites. if that were the case, we would all be hypocrites. the reason why traits are dominant and not exclusive is this reason for this phenomenon. i wouldnt say we are hypocrites thou some of us may truly be. but i rather classify it under mental and moral complexities, a three dimensional world, a multi faceted personality, situations that give rise to different levels or aspects or behaviour. i would call it human nature, or the essence of being human. funny how we all point at the faults of others when we go thru these faults ourselves. funny how we criticize professionals when we wont even make it on the field to play in their places. but den again, complexities likened to a rubix cube, where often, one can only solve problems with a single perspective. constant human inablility to look at the three dimensional view. constant human folly of folly from a three dimensional view. like they always say, if u create a fool proof solution, there ll always be a bigger idiot hu comes along. and follies and solutions are often matched and surpassed, yet we havent reached a stage where follies, the flawed sides of each and everyone of us can be looked at from a wholesome perspective. the human psyche, the reason for mutli facetedness of the human mind can never be truly solved like a rubix cube. unless one day, we can truly unravel its secrets, its motivations, its actions and reactions and market it as a formula so many have memorized.

and until then, i hope that wad i have written becomes a realisation which becomes the solution to the great annoyance we face when others are different or when others have different opinions or just daily mudslinging and thunderstorms. cus its really something that we all forget, or hardly ever learn. but its hard. we get it wrong all the time, you included, me as well.

|cowpoo| 6:34 PM|

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